sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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