Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize