A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
