hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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