have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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