if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
