He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
