it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize