Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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