Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Congratulations! We have a period
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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