i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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