I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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