Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
