OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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