Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I need to stop coming to work sober
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
