He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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