We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
