My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
