.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
