So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
