im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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