so explain again why im purple
no
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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