I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
