hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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