My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
