Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
