4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
