I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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