I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
