I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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