Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
