Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize