Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
