Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
