Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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