booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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