Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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