I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Barsexuality is the new black.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
