I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Randomize
