i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
