Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
