So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize