I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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