Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
