I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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