I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
