I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
