At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
