Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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