Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
