i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
