Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
