Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
