guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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