we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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