wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
