I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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