just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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