I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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