I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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