Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
