dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize