A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Who died my cat blue again?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize