how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
